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Help with family support.

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So I'm not new to the riding world but am fairly new to the world of dirt bike ownership. I have been riding/racing quads since I was 5. I'm 25 now. I have had my dirt bike long enough to know I want to do some desert races this summer. Not concerned with the result, just want the rush I used to feel racing on my quad. Problem I have is my family does not support the idea at all. My wife is okay with it and supports me in everything I do or want to do. My father on the other hand is another story. I don't really NEED his approval or permission to go desert race on a braapcycle. But I don't want to just go do it and have him feel like his opinion doesn't mean something to me or have him feel like I disrespected him by racing anyway without his approval. Any advice would be much appreciated.

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So I'm not new to the riding world but am fairly new to the world of dirt bike ownership. I have been riding/racing quads since I was 5. I'm 25 now. I have had my dirt bike long enough to know I want to do some desert races this summer. Not concerned with the result, just want the rush I used to feel racing on my quad. Problem I have is my family does not support the idea at all. My wife is okay with it and supports me in everything I do or want to do. My father on the other hand is another story. I don't really NEED his approval or permission to go desert race on a braapcycle. But I don't want to just go do it and have him feel like his opinion doesn't mean something to me or have him feel like I disrespected him by racing anyway without his approval. Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

First of all what is his,reasoning behind not wanting you to?

I'm sure it is a good reason unless he is just against riding?

You are 25. I assume live on your own?

The best thing you can do is talk with your parents or disapproving family. My wife and family has my back.

My mother is always whining when I get hurt but that is expected as she is my mother.

Although you never want to disrespect your family....

It's your life and you do not need approval. I'm sure your family is worried about injury. How do you support your income etc.. are you ready and all that good stuff

 

They don't know your intentions.

 

I assume you already know all this and are just asking for outside advice to correlate to your own.

In reality don't worry about what we have to say. When it comes to family. Speak from your heart. Be respectful. Ask for their backup and just make them understand this is your passion. 

They will come around.  It don't not do it because they don't want you to. That's the cowards way.

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Thanks man... Dad is worried about me getting hurt, I sit at a desk all day and make a good living. In the event of getting hurt I could still work just fine unless I broke all my fingers and hit my head hard enough not to be able to answer the phone lol. I have contacted my insurance company to see what my coverage is incase of getting hurt in a racing situation and I'm good there. He worried when I was on quads bit not as much as he does now I'm on two wheels. I have the means to take care of me and mine for 8 months of not working in the event of needing to. He lost a dear friend a few years ago to a dirt bike accident at the sand dunes and he has been Skiddish ever since. This really boils down to me and my father having a very very close relationship. I don't have a best friend I have my dad. He owns the car dealership I work in and I work 6 ft from him 5 days a week. We are constantly doing something at his house or were hunting or fishing. My wife jokes I'm married to him not her lol. That's why I don't want to make him angry by doing it anyway...

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Just don't talk about it around your Mom and/or Dad. If your wife supports you, that is what counts the most...at this point in your life.

Go out have fun and just don't speak of it around disapproving people.

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Thanks man... Dad is worried about me getting hurt, I sit at a desk all day and make a good living. In the event of getting hurt I could still work just fine unless I broke all my fingers and hit my head hard enough not to be able to answer the phone lol. I have contacted my insurance company to see what my coverage is incase of getting hurt in a racing situation and I'm good there. He worried when I was on quads bit not as much as he does now I'm on two wheels. I have the means to take care of me and mine for 8 months of not working in the event of needing to. He lost a dear friend a few years ago to a dirt bike accident at the sand dunes and he has been Skiddish ever since. This really boils down to me and my father having a very very close relationship. I don't have a best friend I have my dad. He owns the car dealership I work in and I work 6 ft from him 5 days a week. We are constantly doing something at his house or were hunting or fishing. My wife jokes I'm married to him not her lol. That's why I don't want to make him angry by doing it anyway...

 

I was that way with my father. I completely understand. Although quads are more dangerous.... by far. Moral to story is.

He doesn't want you gone. My wife is now my best friend. And only friend

 besides track buddies. 

What you said is "you aren't looking to win just want the rush" 

Let's be honest. Riding and racing are different. That rush pushes you. 

Just talk with him. Ask him for support if he is your best friend he won't turn you down. Make sure he understands that when someone goes into a race without that. That is when they get g disorganized and hurt. "Without the guilt trip on him"

He won't turn you down. And you... don't let him down.

Getting hurt sucks. And if you scroll down you will see my thread on what happened to me yesterday and why I missed my race today. All just practicing.

When it  comes to making this a sport not a hobby.

 

The saying is "it is not if you get hurt. It is when you get hurt..and how bad"

I just 're injured the 5 broken ribs I have. Along with a smashed helmet. While "taking it easy"

On the track.

 

That is what your dad and best friend see.

 

But if you go out there to get 're oriented or oriented to McDonald's racing in desert where it is a lot of high speed and don't intend on pushing it. And jus f try to get comfortable with it and work your way into it slowly. He will work into it as well.

 

Especially if it is not ama recognised.

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So I'm not new to the riding world but am fairly new to the world of dirt bike ownership. I have been riding/racing quads since I was 5. I'm 25 now. I have had my dirt bike long enough to know I want to do some desert races this summer. Not concerned with the result, just want the rush I used to feel racing on my quad. Problem I have is my family does not support the idea at all. My wife is okay with it and supports me in everything I do or want to do. My father on the other hand is another story. I don't really NEED his approval or permission to go desert race on a braapcycle. But I don't want to just go do it and have him feel like his opinion doesn't mean something to me or have him feel like I disrespected him by racing anyway without his approval. Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

I know this feeling. But its about riding on the street, my old boy was happy with me riding dirt and was happy when I tried racing.

 

But riding street is an entirely different story.

 

I would like to give you an answer but I still haven't figured it out myself.

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Thanks a bunch guys! I talked to him more last night and he is gonna go riding with me on wed to see where my riding is at. I'm no pro but I can definitly ride well and safe. So we'll see if I can't change his mind on wed. Thanks again guys.

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Thanks a bunch guys! I talked to him more last night and he is gonna go riding with me on wed to see where my riding is at. I'm no pro but I can definitly ride well and safe. So we'll see if I can't change his mind on wed. Thanks again guys.

 

Awesome....so he does not currently ride offroad bikes?

 

Joe

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We ride street bikes, he has a couple utility quads and a wildcat sxs. He has had sport quads my whole life, utility quads came about 5 years ago. He can ride anything with wheels really. He has seen me ride the bike once at the sand dunes on easter weekend. He hasn't seen me in the desert on it yet.

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Your dad has a funny sense of priorities if you don't mind me saying so. You are many times more likely to be disabled or killed riding on the street. After that, quads are many times more likely to get you hurt than a dirtbike is.

It's a tough deal when someone who is in the position of a spouse or parent just doesn't get it. It's not like you can totally  blow them off, after all. 

My folks aren't happy about my riding because they have given up a lot of time and energy everytime I have been badly hurt and of course they worry and are just dreading the next big injury.

But being an adult means making your own decisions and it's not like you are a drunk or a drug addict. As far as risky life choices go, riding and racing aren't at the top of the heap. The best thing you can do is make them aware of that and hope that their perspective changes.

Sounds like your dad is being overprotective and controlling. Hopefully he figures out that letting you be your own man isn't an option for him, it's gonna happen one way or another.

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Well, without rebelling or spite, the sooner you become your own man the better it will be for everyone, including you.  You have interests, your father has interests.  Someday those interests will go their separate ways.  Hopefully it happens before one of you dies.  Separation anxiety can take time to overcome on both sides.  Good luck.

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don't really have an answer, just an opinion. Have lost numerous friends in racing, my son had a very severe accident 4 yrs ago at 15, docs wouldn't allow him to ride almost 2 years. But the smile I see on his face today racing/riding helped me set my fears for him aside! It is truly the most important thing in his life at this time! No matter what happens in the future, I will allways remember the joy and happiness MC's brought to his life!

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Thanks man... Dad is worried about me getting hurt, I sit at a desk all day and make a good living. In the event of getting hurt I could still work just fine unless I broke all my fingers and hit my head hard enough not to be able to answer the phone lol. I have contacted my insurance company to see what my coverage is incase of getting hurt in a racing situation and I'm good there. He worried when I was on quads bit not as much as he does now I'm on two wheels. I have the means to take care of me and mine for 8 months of not working in the event of needing to. He lost a dear friend a few years ago to a dirt bike accident at the sand dunes and he has been Skiddish ever since. This really boils down to me and my father having a very very close relationship. I don't have a best friend I have my dad. He owns the car dealership I work in and I work 6 ft from him 5 days a week. We are constantly doing something at his house or were hunting or fishing. My wife jokes I'm married to him not her lol. That's why I don't want to make him angry by doing it anyway...

It's obvious your dad knows you a lot better than we do here and probably feels you're prone to getting hurt if you ride, but know this, it's not breaking a few fingers, or some minor thing if you get hurt.  He might just be aware enough about riding dirt bikes that convinced him you could seriously hurt yourself where you might be laid up for 6 months to a year or more.  Don't take this riding / racing so lightly.  You can get hurt more ways than simply falling and breaking a bone.  Many here on TT will tell you, this is one freaking dangerous sport where anything and everything at it's worse possible moment can and will happen to you.  All it take is for a split moment in time to land yourself in a hospital bed for weeks only to then come home and realize all you can do is sit on the couch and mend and not even be able to move.  Your dad is watching your back and your future in taking over the dealership and certainly doesn't want to see you end up maimed for life just because you want to have some fun racing. Riding and racing are two different worlds, so thread lightly.  You're young with a promising future ahead of you, don't go screw it up because you have an aching to prove something. Instead of racing, just go out and ride the clock and take it at your best pace. I'm all for racing, but when you get out there, and the adrenaline starts to pump, it's really easy to screw up and like I said, end up in the hospital for weeks on end if you're lucky and not be maimed for life.  Take it slow, you have plenty of time ahead of you.  Your wife is probably about your age, so she also can't see clearly what might be the worse possible scenario.  If you have kids, then it become even more a moral imperative that you're careful.  After all, people are counting on you.  Just my take, nothing more.  :devil:

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Thank you for the differing opinion yz490. I'm aware of what can happen to me. I think your right though about my wife not understanding fully. Perhaps we need to have a deeper conversation about it. I have raced a bunch on my old quad but never had any real bad injuries. Broken ankle once and a broken jaw another time. Bangs and bruises beyond that... I talked with my father more about it today and I'm going to race 5 races this year. He is going to help me in the garage to get the bike and other gear ready. I do however need to find out how I can make sure i have my butt covered in the event of a life altering injury keeping me from working again. We do have 1 child, 18 month old girl. Her first identifiable word was dirt bike lol sounds like derr bye! Cutest thing ya ever saw. I fear the day she says daddy I want to race. Because I'll let her and my hair Will be white or gone by my 40th bday..

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Thank you for the differing opinion yz490. I'm aware of what can happen to me. I think your right though about my wife not understanding fully. Perhaps we need to have a deeper conversation about it. I have raced a bunch on my old quad but never had any real bad injuries. Broken ankle once and a broken jaw another time. Bangs and bruises beyond that... I talked with my father more about it today and I'm going to race 5 races this year. He is going to help me in the garage to get the bike and other gear ready. I do however need to find out how I can make sure i have my butt covered in the event of a life altering injury keeping me from working again. We do have 1 child, 18 month old girl. Her first identifiable word was dirt bike lol sounds like derr bye! Cutest thing ya ever saw. I fear the day she says daddy I want to race. Because I'll let her and my hair Will be white or gone by my 40th bday..

You should look into a disability income insurance policy then, like Aflac or some of the other co's. I've had one for a long time. I've never needed to use it, and hope I don't. You're insuring your income if something happens to you. That something could be anything, not just mc's. The younger you are when you buy it, the cheaper it is.

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Agreed with above post. Don't do ANYTHING dangerous until you are covered. Both life and disability. It always suprises me to find out when someone with a wife and kids doesn't already have it. 

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