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We were riding today with a best friend. 

That f’r took us on some goat trail and almost killed my friend Disney. 

Disney doesn’t have electric start and had to kick start bike like 40 times.  

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9 minutes ago, Dangerranger1973 said:

We were riding today with a best friend. 

That f’r took us on some goat trail and almost killed my friend Disney. 

Disney doesn’t have electric start and had to kick start bike like 40 times.  

That sounds like a fun ride mixed with a dose of spontaneous cardio! ?

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29 minutes ago, Dangerranger1973 said:

We were riding today with a best friend. 

That f’r took us on some goat trail and almost killed my friend Disney. 

Disney doesn’t have electric start and had to kick start bike like 40 times.  

I take it you didn't realize what you signed up for. 

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Doosh is not just insensitive to women but Disney is 20 yrs younger than Tigerlilly. It was like child abuse. 

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Cant tell if this is supposed to be a serious or joke thread?

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I thought I was going to have to go down the hill and help my buddy up the hill cause he was about to pass out from heat exhaustion. 

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Posted (edited)

I warned you that 5 miles of misery was going to be awful even in overcast riding. 

The first round trip of Wreckage is done. 

Danger, you are f’n amazing. Some of the best extreme enduro I’ve ever seen. I’m sorry about Disney. But next time he’s warned about riding the Mommy trail perhaps he shouldn’t be out til 1pm getting drunk and &%$#@!ing girls with fake dd  boobs. 

Oh, and even at your ages. Pure water will kill you. 

Edited by TigerTanker
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Posted (edited)

Wreckage wasn't completed last winter, interrupted by snow and then a busy schedule along with my inability to bring folks out. People are afraid of the unknown, and from the relative unsafety of Alien Blood, Wreckage looks like an invitation to disaster, it sits ther a bit obscured but when you spot it...it looks like trouble. I'm sure it gets quite a few... "perhaps another day" comments. 

After having a bitter taste of vomit lingering in my mouth for many days, Danger posts up about A51.... I tell him it's unlikely, but maybe.... Who am I kidding? Hell yeah, but at the same time I don't want to scare him off or his buddy. I ask him politely if he'll consider being part of the very first expedition around all of Wreckage. He teases me for hours and finally responds..."I'm Game". My heart soars... today is the day....

We meet at 730am so we can avoid heat, and we're lucky that a marine layer is hanging over West of Space Needle. I'm suspicious of the parking lot, so I find a bat cave to park in, and toss salt over my shoulder. I put on my Heart Attack helmet, as I know that this day is going to be rough. 

We start at Bad Plumbing and Disney apparently has never been here, while Danger has and has enjoyed some of the tougher trails. I warn Disney that most guys going up Bad Plumbing don't give her respect and get taken down in humiliating fashion. I also suggest that we hit wreckage and avoid any and all other challenge trails because I have no idea just how taxing on the human body Wreckage might be. I've ridden with Danger once, but never with Disney and I do not again want to be accused of attempted murder. 

Sure enough, a few clicks up and a root takes Disney and body slams him. I am filming, and I let out a TigerTanker war cry... VICTIM. I continue and when I come to one of the trick turns I stop and watch, cam rolling. Disney ain't F'n around, and he nails the trick...which is go wide and high. I let out an attaboy and we continue up to the Control Tower.

Down we go on Alien Blood, and it's without any carnage. But Disney stops and turns... "are we really going up this?" Yes we will... and if you think this is hard, this is just warm ups. Down to the Pool of Blood we go. Danger and Disney both head up B line and make it look easy... I make it 99% and push the bike up the last part...fiddlesticks..

We wind up at the gate to Wreckage and off we go. I barely make it a few feet to the upslope and I'm spinning my m5b like a Roulette wheel... Ok, perhaps we take some air out.... what am I talking about..I'm a bike abusing hack.... TAKE ALL THE AIR OUT! We proceed and wind up at Tombstone Hill. Disney wants to mech a bit, and I suggest that Danger and I should go and take a good peek at the big down hill we are about to take, I wanna see if it's safe. We clear some junk and realize that going down should be fine, but Danger is curious about @Blue Dawn Enduro 's  Ron's Passage.  We start digging through it, and then I see something that concerns me.... FECES...the big meat eater type... Cat or Bear or... I don't know some Alien shit that survived the wreckage of 1948...long story...

We are clambering up the rocks and I'm realizing that Ron's Passage is as crazy and fun looking as it's beautiful and powerful. We are surrounded by flowers that are at least 5 feet tall, and I'm waiting for Julie Andrews to begin singing.... But instead it's my huffing and puffing I'm hearing.... Wreckage is on a sustained slope of about 30-35 degrees...

We wake up Disney from his nap and down we go.... the slope down not named is now Danger Hill, for him being the first to descend. Trouble is, he's misunderstood me...Ron's Passage isn't done. Danger is taking his new to him Argentina 2015 up the passage! I can hear the controlled violence and the spraying of dirt and rock as he goes up into the rock, bushes, busted trees and he vanishes from sight as we hear his bike no doubt telling whomever that calls the Passage home, that there's a new owner.... Eventually the raw nature of Ron's Passage claims her first victim and Danger's looped Argentina is precariously perched in a thriving Blueberry Bush. Uh... Hey, Danger... we're actually going East, not West.... So up the bike goes and he comes back to the Expedition. 

We descend to the base of Tiger Rocks! and we deal with the one big ass tree that is on the system. We build a jump ramp to make it possible to do the impossible... climb up from the soft dirt floor to the upper levels of the rock area. Some digging, some cussing, some flames and some sweat.... we're up.  We now hit the part of the trail that I've done a few times. I proclaim that things will be getting a bit easier and that our 1 mph pace should be picking up a bit. Well, I lied.  The Spring has made the growth of this 2-3 yr clearcut explode in growth and the huge 5 foot tall flowers literally make it hard to see the trail. 

Danger's ahead and providing visual confidence to accomplish the many challenges we have ahead. Disney makes a determined climb in a place known for looped bikes on my previous few visits and I feed off his energy and get 1 foot from 100%..Danger comes to help push me and I literally bat his hand down.... NO, i got it....

I tell the guys that we got one more hard part or two, have faith. At this point I can tell that Disney has had about enough. His demeanor is changing to "check please" and he's riding slower and less stable. I've seen this before... and realize that he's been out all night and is probably dehydrated. These guys are sucking down pure water, not a mix with electrolytes. We also don't have much time left before the sun is coming out, and it's like we are vampires today...we are not going to be able to handle direct sunlight while also having our hearts trying to beat out of our chests. 

Disney for whatever damn reason climbs up with zero fanfare Dan's "Jesus" Hill. Named after his reaction from me tossing my bike at him last time we were there... sorry again @dan500afc Meanwhile I have one of my worst showings ever on this part and my bike is upside down and pouring gass on the Huckleberry's as I ponder WTF I'm going to do, and asking for help is not an option. I decide that I'm Graham Jarvis (that is a reference to my FB lynch mob's dig at me being pathetic and petty enough to think that I ever compared myself to GH) The way up this damn mess is going to be ghost bike time, perhaps a couple. Sure enough, my study of Erzberg Vids has helped and without any real skill at all, I've gotten up "The last hard part Sahib!"

Disney is laying on a rock...he's named it "Resting Rock". I see Disney embracing Danger and patting his back... ??? Oh, Disney is sucking down on Danger's Camelback and pushing on his back in hope that it really isn't empty.... The sun is now out, and these two guys are out of water... Uh oh.... not that it would bother Danger...uh he's possibly the best hard enduro rider I've seen in the PNW. But I'm worried that Disney may soon take off all his clothes and start running for the Oakland Raiders walking only trail in some hope of getting back to the truck alive. 

We've now entered Coug's canyon but as easy as it's been in the past, the vegetation is hiding it, somehow bringing in an element of fear. Disney is stuck, the dust and rocks are flying like debris from an explosion from extra terrestrial weapons ordinance... the sound is deafening as it echoes through the canyon that separates us from Kryptonite Mountain. I have zero problem there and feel a victory, but then I realize that it's Disney...he's fading and fading fast. I assure him, we've only got a couple hundred yards before we hit Tombstone Hill.... keep it together...be patient. Each moderate section has now become a potential accident. 

We eventually return to Alien Blood, it's time to go up. Danger zooms off, and like a good host of victimization..I'm trailing and hoping that Disney has just enough in him to make it back up to the Road To Hell. He gets stuck, I pass and then I realize that while I'm doing pretty good, this stuff really is hard...and this is Disney's first time going up Alien Blood. AB requires momentum at each turn going up... he doesn't got it. I'm under AB Rock and about to lead Disney up the Girls Way but he's nowhere to be seen or heard of. Oh crap... Danger realizes his friend is sacked and starts heading down... but up comes Disney... "F'n doosh tiger man.... you are an ass.... I'm never coming back ever again .....maybe.."

Up he comes and Danger leads us out on the gravel pulling one of those long controlled wheelies....  Disney flashes thumbs up when we hit gravel...he's ready for beer. We pack it up and off we go to the strip club at Kryptonite Mtn and order salads and drinks. 

Yup, I'm an a$$ but.... "Hey TigerTanker, you wanna go for a ride with us????"

 

@TheW0LF @ThePunisher @SteveThe Snakes ... hey, we suffer too...

Edited by TigerTanker
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22 minutes ago, Dangerranger1973 said:

Great ride for me but man my buddy got enilated. He wasn’t expect to deal with that kind of shit. 

There are times when if 2 out of 3 people survive, that's pretty good. 

I suggest lots of orange juice, aspirin, and double d's...

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Sitting with Danger under Tombstone Hill after completing the first ever loop of Wreckage 

CF24531D-C3D1-40D9-96B5-DF2AFB62B601.jpeg

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Sounds like a hell of a ride, and sounds like both your riding and your writing has been steadily improving.

Never Say Die.

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, TigerTanker said:

Wreckage wasn't completed last winter, interrupted by snow and then a busy schedule along with my inability to bring folks out. People are afraid of the unknown, and from the relative unsafety of Alien Blood, Wreckage looks like an invitation to disaster, it sits ther a bit obscured but when you spot it...it looks like trouble. I'm sure it gets quite a few... "perhaps another day" comments. 

After having a bitter taste of vomit lingering in my mouth for many days, Danger posts up about A51.... I tell him it's unlikely, but maybe.... Who am I kidding? Hell yeah, but at the same time I don't want to scare him off or his buddy. I ask him politely if he'll consider being part of the very first expedition around all of Wreckage. He teases me for hours and finally responds..."I'm Game". My heart soars... today is the day....

We meet at 730am so we can avoid heat, and we're lucky that a marine layer is hanging over West of Space Needle. I'm suspicious of the parking lot, so I find a bat cave to park in, and toss salt over my shoulder. I put on my Heart Attack helmet, as I know that this day is going to be rough. 

We start at Bad Plumbing and Disney apparently has never been here, while Danger has and has enjoyed some of the tougher trails. I warn Disney that most guys going up Bad Plumbing don't give her respect and get taken down in humiliating fashion. I also suggest that we hit wreckage and avoid any and all other challenge trails because I have no idea just how taxing on the human body Wreckage might be. I've ridden with Danger once, but never with Disney and I do not again want to be accused of attempted murder. 

Sure enough, a few clicks up and a root takes Disney and body slams him. I am filming, and I let out a TigerTanker war cry... VICTIM. I continue and when I come to one of the trick turns I stop and watch, cam rolling. Disney ain't F'n around, and he nails the trick...which is go wide and high. I let out an attaboy and we continue up to the Control Tower.

Down we go on Alien Blood, and it's without any carnage. But Disney stops and turns... "are we really going up this?" Yes we will... and if you think this is hard, this is just warm ups. Down to the Pool of Blood we go. Danger and Disney both head up B line and make it look easy... I make it 99% and push the bike up the last part...fiddlesticks..

We wind up at the gate to Wreckage and off we go. I barely make it a few feet to the upslope and I'm spinning my m5b like a Roulette wheel... Ok, perhaps we take some air out.... what am I talking about..I'm a bike abusing hack.... TAKE ALL THE AIR OUT! We proceed and wind up at Tombstone Hill. Disney wants to mech a bit, and I suggest that Danger and I should go and take a good peek at the big down hill we are about to take, I wanna see if it's safe. We clear some junk and realize that going down should be fine, but Danger is curious about @Blue Dawn Enduro 's  Ron's Passage.  We start digging through it, and then I see something that concerns me.... FECES...the big meat eater type... Cat or Bear or... I don't know some Alien shit that survived the wreckage of 1948...long story...

We are clambering up the rocks and I'm realizing that Ron's Passage is as crazy and fun looking as it's beautiful and powerful. We are surrounded by flowers that are at least 5 feet tall, and I'm waiting for Julie Andrews to begin singing.... But instead it's my huffing and puffing I'm hearing.... Wreckage is on a sustained slope of about 30-35 degrees...

We wake up Disney from his nap and down we go.... the slope down not named is now Danger Hill, for him being the first to descend. Trouble is, he's misunderstood me...Ron's Passage isn't done. Danger is taking his new to him Argentina 2015 up the passage! I can hear the controlled violence and the spraying of dirt and rock as he goes up into the rock, bushes, busted trees and he vanishes from sight as we hear his bike no doubt telling whomever that calls the Passage home, that there's a new owner.... Eventually the raw nature of Ron's Passage claims her first victim and Danger's looped Argentina is precariously perched in a thriving Blueberry Bush. Uh... Hey, Danger... we're actually going East, not West.... So up the bike goes and he comes back to the Expedition. 

We descend to the base of Tiger Rocks! and we deal with the one big ass tree that is on the system. We build a jump ramp to make it possible to do the impossible... climb up from the soft dirt floor to the upper levels of the rock area. Some digging, some cussing, some flames and some sweat.... we're up.  We now hit the part of the trail that I've done a few times. I proclaim that things will be getting a bit easier and that our 1 mph pace should be picking up a bit. Well, I lied.  The Spring has made the growth of this 2-3 yr clearcut explode in growth and the huge 5 foot tall flowers literally make it hard to see the trail. 

Danger's ahead and providing visual confidence to accomplish the many challenges we have ahead. Disney makes a determined climb in a place known for looped bikes on my previous few visits and I feed off his energy and get 1 foot from 100%..Danger comes to help push me and I literally bat his hand down.... NO, i got it....

I tell the guys that we got one more hard part or two, have faith. At this point I can tell that Disney has had about enough. His demeanor is changing to "check please" and he's riding slower and less stable. I've seen this before... and realize that he's been out all night and is probably dehydrated. These guys are sucking down pure water, not a mix with electrolytes. We also don't have much time left before the sun is coming out, and it's like we are vampires today...we are not going to be able to handle direct sunlight while also having our hearts trying to beat out of our chests. 

Disney for whatever damn reason climbs up with zero fanfare Dan's "Jesus" Hill. Named after his reaction from me tossing my bike at him last time we were there... sorry again @dan500afc Meanwhile I have one of my worst showings ever on this part and my bike is upside down and pouring gass on the Huckleberry's as I ponder WTF I'm going to do, and asking for help is not an option. I decide that I'm Graham Jarvis (that is a reference to my FB lynch mob's dig at me being pathetic and petty enough to think that I ever compared myself to GH) The way up this damn mess is going to be ghost bike time, perhaps a couple. Sure enough, my study of Erzberg Vids has helped and without any real skill at all, I've gotten up "The last hard part Sahib!"

Disney is laying on a rock...he's named it "Resting Rock". I see Disney embracing Danger and patting his back... ??? Oh, Disney is sucking down on Danger's Camelback and pushing on his back in hope that it really isn't empty.... The sun is now out, and these two guys are out of water... Uh oh.... not that it would bother Danger...uh he's possibly the best hard enduro rider I've seen in the PNW. But I'm worried that Disney may soon take off all his clothes and start running for the Oakland Raiders walking only trail in some hope of getting back to the truck alive. 

We've now entered Coug's canyon but as easy as it's been in the past, the vegetation is hiding it, somehow bringing in an element of fear. Disney is stuck, the dust and rocks are flying like debris from an explosion from extra terrestrial weapons ordinance... the sound is deafening as it echoes through the canyon that separates us from Kryptonite Mountain. I have zero problem there and feel a victory, but then I realize that it's Disney...he's fading and fading fast. I assure him, we've only got a couple hundred yards before we hit Tombstone Hill.... keep it together...be patient. Each moderate section has now become a potential accident. 

We eventually return to Alien Blood, it's time to go up. Danger zooms off, and like a good host of victimization..I'm trailing and hoping that Disney has just enough in him to make it back up to the Road To Hell. He gets stuck, I pass and then I realize that while I'm doing pretty good, this stuff really is hard...and this is Disney's first time going up Alien Blood. AB requires momentum at each turn going up... he doesn't got it. I'm under AB Rock and about to lead Disney up the Girls Way but he's nowhere to be seen or heard of. Oh crap... Danger realizes his friend is sacked and starts heading down... but up comes Disney... "F'n doosh tiger man.... you are an ass.... I'm never coming back ever again .....maybe.."

Up he comes and Danger leads us out on the gravel pulling one of those long controlled wheelies....  Disney flashes thumbs up when we hit gravel...he's ready for beer. We pack it up and off we go to the strip club at Kryptonite Mtn and order salads and drinks. 

Yup, I'm an a$$ but.... "Hey TigerTanker, you wanna go for a ride with us????"

 

@TheW0LF @ThePunisher @SteveThe Snakes ... hey, we suffer too...

Wow, that was a great read!  Glad everyone made it out alive.  And damn, that passage hasn't even been brushed out yet. Holy Huckberry Harvest. Love the eagerness of Danger just "follow the green tape up that way" you'll come out eventually.   I cannot believe how huge those foxglove are.  While you're hearing the 'Sound of music', Disney's hearing broken banjo music ha ha ha...

Edited by Blue Dawn Enduro
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Almost made it out of the canyon was about 15 feet from the opening. We walked it and then went back up and went down. No clue the trail we wanted went left at the bottom of the hill and I went right into the canyon. Never heard tiger yelling at me over the 2nd gear wide pull up the canyon. Then I come strolling down expecting them to follow and he says where you going the trail is that way. And at this time the bikes on the side of the hill on a bush laying flat about 2 feet off the ground. Well I’ll go get it and come back and say f it that looks like it could be another trail and just plow into the bushes and through back to the bottom 

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Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, Dangerranger1973 said:

Almost made it out of the canyon was about 15 feet from the opening. We walked it and then went back up and went down. No clue the trail we wanted went left at the bottom of the hill and I went right into the canyon. Never heard tiger yelling at me over the 2nd gear wide pull up the canyon. Then I come strolling down expecting them to follow and he says where you going the trail is that way. And at this time the bikes on the side of the hill on a bush laying flat about 2 feet off the ground. Well I’ll go get it and come back and say f it that looks like it could be another trail and just plow into the bushes and through back to the bottom 

Wish I could say I'd done it on the bike, but I need another year of cardio .... love walking and bushwhacking that mountain last winter.

Edited by Blue Dawn Enduro

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Posted (edited)
17 minutes ago, Blue Dawn Enduro said:

Wish I could say I'd done it on the bike, but I need another year of cardio .... love walking and bushwhacking that mountain last winter.

One day, there's going to be an established course that includes all that for time trials and competition. It's going to be an incredible test of endurance, speed and skill. Few people have all three in a degree that can withstand 5MOM... I'm thinking for next winter, it's all set up. 

Edited by TigerTanker

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