Jump to content

A Biker Goes To Hell

By twoblackbelts,
in General Dirt Bike Discussion

 Share

Recommended Posts

Grand Master

twoblackbelts

Posted
Posted

Seems there was this nasty biker riding his Harley down the icy highway one cold day in Colorado, when he spotted a cat lying in the middle of the road. The biker thought to himself, "I'll cut that cat in two," and he bore down on it hard. As he got closer, though, he suddenly realized that it was not a cat, but a large piece of metal lying in the road. Too late! His front wheel plowed into it and he was sent flying over the handlebars and onto the road at 80 MPH.

When he arrived in Hell, the person welcoming the new arrivals was the Devil himself. As the Devil shook the ex-biker's hand, he asked mockingly, "So, how do you like it here?" The bad-ass biker replied, "Man, this is one COOL place!" The old Devil was just a little miffed at this upstart, so he decided to crank up the thermostat a notch. The next day, the Devil sought out the biker and asked, "So, how do you like it now?" The biker responded by saying, "This is great! Reminds me of those drug runs to Sonora during the hot afternoons in August." Naturally, the Devil was only more angered, and cranked the heat up as far as it could go. The next day, Hell was unbelievable. Even some demons were melting into the floor. The Devil again found the biker, and asked how he was holding up. Undaunted, the biker proclaimed, "It's almost as hot as the time I beat and robbed those vacationers out in Death Valley. I love it!"

By now the Devil was just furious, so he turned the thermostat all the way down. Way down! As far down as could ever be imagined. The next morning, he tracked down the biker again and asked, "OK smart-ass, how do you like it NOW?" With icicles hanging from every part of his body, the biker shivered and chattered, "W-w-w-what h-h-hhappened, d-d-d-did the Broncos f-f-finally w-w-win the Super Bowl?"

?:devil:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Grand Master

Kev_XR

Posted
Posted

A pilot dies and goes to hell. He is being escorted down a long hallway to his new residence. Along the way, a door accidentally swings open and he looks inside. He sees two pilots at a mock cockpit, drinking heavily, acting obnoxious, each groping a beautiful stewardess in their laps. Behind them are more stewardess waiting to bring them more drinks and take their turns with the pilots. The pilot smiles and says, "I think I can get use to Pilot Hell." The devil looks and say, "Pilot Hell? No, you are mistaken, this is stewardess hell, pilot hell is farther down the hall."

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Rising Star

426_Texan

Posted
Posted

Fianlly win a superbowl????? What the heck is that they one 2 back to back And heve been to what 5 total who cares if they lost they still went and thats better then all the other teams...

Good Joke if it was about Greenbay

?:awww::devil:

Dallas has been EIGHT times, WON 5 of them, 2 back to back.

Denver's record is NOT "better than all the other teams".

Denver does have the honor of having LOST by the most points though :

XXIV January 28, 1990 New Orleans San Francisco NFC Denver AFC 55-10

http://www.sportingnews.com/archives/almanac/nfl/ :

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Apprentice

Shadez138

Posted
Posted

Seems there was this nasty biker riding his Harley down the icy highway one cold day in Colorado, when he spotted a cat lying in the middle of the road. The biker thought to himself, "I'll cut that cat in two," and he bore down on it hard. As he got closer, though, he suddenly realized that it was not a cat, but a large piece of metal lying in the road. Too late! His front wheel plowed into it and he was sent flying over the handlebars and onto the road at 80 MPH.

When he arrived in Hell, the person welcoming the new arrivals was the Devil himself. As the Devil shook the ex-biker's hand, he said..."As you see before you there are three doors. You must choose a door, and behind it is the room which you will spend enternity." Not one for suspense, the biker picked door #1, so the devil opens it, and inside are other bikers, head standing up to their chest protectors in Sh*t. The biker pleaded with the devil to let him pick another door. The devil reluctanly agreed, so the biker picked door #2. Behind that door was the same scene. Bikers head standing in crap with their boots straight up in the air. The biker begged and pleaded with Satan and convinced him to let him take the 3rd door, no matter what was behind it, there he would spend eternity. The biker walked to the 3rd door, hands shaking, opened the door and to his surprise were bikers standing upright, (but knee deep in sh*t) holding their helmets, talking about all the great races they had, all the great bikes, and all were drinking hot coffee and eating doughnuts. The biker looked at the devil, smiled and said, "Ok, now this I can handle. I'll just have to get used to the smell, but this is much better,..Thank you!" The devil said, "Alright, go on in, get a cup of coffee and a doughnut. I'll come back to see how you're doing later." The biker wades through the crap holding his nose, goes to the buffet table and grabs a doughnut and a cup. As he reaches for the coffee pot, a supervising demon leans in the door and shouts, "OK MEN, BREAK IS OVER! BACK ON YOUR HEAD!

:awww::devil:

Sorry, couldn't resist. ?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Reply with:

ThumperTalk

Register a new account Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...
Terms of Use
Copyright
Privacy Policy