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The Evolution of the Motorcycle

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This from a friend who is building a Vintage mc: Kinda funny...

The Evolution of the Motorcycle

ON THE FIRST DAY, God created the Heavens, the Earth, and

Highway 9. But He wasn't happy, His moped would sway on

the corners, crawl up the hills, and use heaps of juice.

ON THE SECOND DAY, God took a new tack, and created the

CT Trail 90. He enjoyed the wind in His hair (He hadn't created

helmets then), it was fun, and used zip gas, but it still crawled

up the hills.

ON THE THIRD DAY, God created the Honda Four, and it flew

up the hills. With four into ones, it sounded better, it never broke

down, but the corners remained a problem. Yet He had tasted

power, and craved for more.

THUS, ON THE FOURTH DAY, He added two more cylinder to

His Honda, and created adrenaline. His insurance premiums

doubled, and it cost a fortune to get the tappets done. He also

created fear (His hair turned white), and the clich'e "enough is

enough".

ON THE FIFTH DAY, God blew a couple of joints, had rap with

Willie G. Sr., and created the Harley Davidson. He would cruise

up and down the hills in top gear, and pick up heaps of babes.

He would get off on the note. But the Hog was too heavy, broke

down a lot and handled like the moped.

THEN ON THE SIXTH DAY, He made the Bonneville. He would

still pick up babes outside the Bars, and it sounded good. His

bike was light, and for the first time, the corners were fun. It

handled! God was stoked. But the vibration gave Him a pain in

the butt, His kidneys were history, it was a touch gutless and

He ran out of juice every 100 miles. He wasn't happy, but shit,

He was close.

SO FINALLY, ON THE SEVENTH DAY, God produced a

motorcycle with the speed of a Honda, the torque of a Harley

and the handling of a Triumph. He could afford the gas, tune it

Himself, pick up chicks and still blow off Ducatis through the

corners. He called His bike NORTON, and He was happy.

Except for the electricity leaking out of the wires as smoke.

Fred X1

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😢

i'm afraid i have no idea what that story was about.

but i'm pretty sure that God, like myself, wouldn't be caught dead on a Harley.

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😢

i'm afraid i have no idea what that story was about.

but i'm pretty sure that God, like myself, wouldn't be caught dead on a Harley.

A friend is building a vintage Norton. He wrote a silly little story for fun. I thought I'd share it with the TT'ers. Maybe someone could get a laugh out of it today. But no, someone's gotta go do the usual Harley bashing. Think about this joe.. I wouldn't want to catch you "dead" on a Harley either. Dead bodies are gross. And so is your bikers-against-bikers attitude, dude... 😢

😢

.

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😢

i'm afraid i have no idea what that story was about.

but i'm pretty sure that God, like myself, wouldn't be caught dead on a Harley.

Ever ridden a Harley? 😢

If not you wouldn't understand.

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Ever ridden a Harley? 😢

If not you wouldn't understand.

😢😢😢

😢

DD...

'03 CRF230F Mule Ridin' Tractor

'87 H-D Sportster 883/1200 Torque Monster

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I spend most of my time in the garage of a motorcycle shop. I've probably test-ridden close to 100 Harley's. I used to think that Harley's poured into the shop because Harley riders were just terrible at maintanance.. but eventually you just have to recognize the fact that they are unreliable and prone to breaking down. this, alongside of being loud, ugly, heavy and slow in my opinion.

and DirtDaddy, you misunderstand.. there is no biker vs biker in me. i think Harleys are pieces of junk. if you want to take that as a personal attack, that's completely up to you, but i think you should at least legally change your name to Harley Davidson first.. or buy the HD company.. then you can take it personally when someone says they don't like Harley Davidson. i don't get all defensive when somebody says they don't like Hondas. (oh that's right. nobody ever does 😢 ) as it stands, i think maybe your underwear are on just a tad too tight because you are pretty quick to assume someone is attacking you.

chill homie. 😢

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I told a story. There was what, a line in it about H-D's. You took it upon yourself to single out the H-D in this story to knock the H-D. The shit's on your lap pal.

End of post

.

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ok point-misser, you're absolutely right. you said it yourself:

You took it upon yourself to single out the H-D in this story to knock the H-D

now please tell me where i attacked you or any other biker. 😢 because you said that i was some sort of biker vs biker biggot.. or some such nonsense.

i believe i fully explained, without hesitation, that i think harley's are crap. now, as to the reason why you take that personally, well we're all still in the dark about that. do you own the company or something? are you dating or married to a harley?

like i said, i don't get all retarded when people bag on hondas. why do you when people bag on harley?

your life must be loaded with stress or something.... pal.

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Ahhh.. don't worry about it man... I hate Harleys too.. that's why I bought a Sportster.

Enjoy your day. Maybe someday we'll ride out dirt bikes on the same trail.

😢

ps... In all the years and over 50,000 miles I've owned this awesome machine, I broke down only once(regulator) and had one oil leak. That's it!

.

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and had one oil leak. That's it!

It started the day it came off the lot.

and Harley's don't leak oil they mark their spot 😢😢

😢😢

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that is indeed an impressive record.

and i gues if we do meet up on the trails, it looks like we'll both be on Hondas, so there will be nothing to argue about. 😢

on the other hand i ride a 450 so don't expect to keep up! 😢

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"But the Hog was too heavy, broke

down a lot and handled like the moped."

I want one of those

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It started the day it came off the lot.

and Harley's don't leak oil they mark their spot 😢😢

😢😢

Almost... it started about 8,000 miles after it came off the lot. 😢

.

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that is indeed an impressive record.

and i gues if we do meet up on the trails, it looks like we'll both be on Hondas, so there will be nothing to argue about. 😢

on the other hand i ride a 450 so don't expect to keep up! 😢

Thank you. Guess I'm one of the lucky ones. As for the Honda's ... I may not keep up with you, but I'll get there eventually. Just take me a little longer, but I will get there.

😢

Ride Red . . . 😢

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Dirt Daddy....

That had me laughing!! I guess you have to have suffered through the years of Triumphs (I had almost half a dozen over the years), Norton (only had one -- a 750 Commando), and the early Honda I-4's in order to appreciate his missive. I've never owned a Harley and don't plan to (just not my style), but have ridden many. I still don't understand the appeal...

Cheers,

Mac

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Dirt Daddy Nice story, thanks for sharing it with us. I only rode a few of those bikes but had friends with the others. Too bad everyone can't just enjoy it without having to show that they are a jerk, but thats life. 😢

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That was funny 😢 Definitely cheered up a wet Monday afternoon!

I had a Triton in my earlier years, 1957 Norton Featherbed frame with a Triumph 650 engine, alloy tank, clip on handlebars, single seat and rearset pegs. It was the dogs bollocks. Unfortunately I had to sell her when I bought my first house. (The bike, not the wife!!)

BTW. Isn't there a passage in the Bible that says something like "the sound of His triumph was heard through the valleys"?? Must've been before He got the Norton. 😢

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Except for the electricity leaking out of the wires as smoke.

Fred X1

Lucas electricals have switches with three settings...

1) Off

2) Dim

3) Flicker

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Lucas electricals have switches with three settings...

1) Off

2) Dim

3) Flicker

Keeping it on a quasi-religious theme, in Britain, Lucas was known as "The Prince of Darkness", eat yer heart out Ozzy!!

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