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I think I need mental help

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OK, well here is the problem. I am in the A class now and having a hard time keeping up. I usually finish about mid-pack or back and I'm so depressed with myself that I dont know what to do to get this any better. I broke my leg last year (fisrt serious injury in 10 years of racing) and I'm not sure if that sin the back of my mind or what. I keep telling myself I'm not afraid or anything and I am going faster than I was when it happened but I'm still getting smoked and just get so down on myself that I dont even feel like being at the track anymore. The other problem is my dad, who is one of the typical mini dads that yells at his kid all the time. Problem is that I'm 20 years old and in the expert class now and he just cant get over that way of doing things and makes me so mad. So, what do I tell him to get off my back so I can ride for myself, and not just to keep him happy? Also, what can I do to get my head back on straight and have fun again? When I'm racing I just feel like I dont want to be there sometimes but I love it and wouldnt want to be anywhere else or doing enything else. It just seems like I might be to the point that my dad had drained every last bit of fun out of it and made it like a job with his constant put-downs and criticism. Help me out guys and get me back on the right track.

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my suggestion would be ride for fun, ride for yourself, cause unless you are really going to make this your career then all it is is fun. thats what riding is all about.i bet if you were to ask all the pro guys they would say that it is for fun (and money of course) but more for fun. so just go out there and have fun riding for yourself.

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You’ve got to ask yourself. Why am I racing? I suppose your doing it for fun. So if it isn’t fun anymore, let it go. There’s more to life than competitive sports. Letting go of racing doesn’t mean you have to quit riding motorcycles. There’s everything from touring the highways to dual-sporting to trail riding.

I’m not sure what to tell you about your dad, so I’ll tell you my story and maybe that’ll shed some light on the topic for you. I’m 50 years old now. When I was in my teens, my dad had his idea of the things he wanted me to do and what he wanted me to be. I have to admit sometimes he was right. We had our arguments. Nobody likes being told what to do. I guess some people are better at giving guidance to their children than others. I was 30 years old by the time all that ended. Thirty is kind of a magic number. You’re not a kid anymore at 30.

Now I have kids. My 10 year old loves to watch the tube and play video games. I think he should get out and do more physical activity. Life goes on.

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When everything is calm - midweek, eating dinner, etc - Tell him something like "I really love you and I really appreciate all you have done for me, but when you yell at me it makes the sport no fun at all and I really need you to stop yelling at me."

Then when he yells at you - repeat that, or just say "please don't yell at me."

Then when he yells at you again - repeat that again.

Then when he does it again - ride off the track in the middle of a race and start loading up. Then keep doing that till he stops. If he is yelling at you at any point even if it is the drive to the race just tell him you have changed you mind because of his yelling and are not going to race.

If you keep calm and don't yell it should work.

Other options might include - mentioning his future grandkids might like the sport, and just printing out what you have typed and taping it to his steering wheel late on a Sunday night so he finds it first thing Monday morning.

Best of luck to you.

.

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When everything is calm - midweek, eating dinner, etc - Tell him something like "I really love you and I really appreciate all you have done for me, but when you yell at me it makes the sport no fun at all and I really need you to stop yelling at me."

Then when he yells at you - repeat that, or just say "please don't yell at me."

Then when he yells at you again - repeat that again.

Then when he does it again - ride off the track in the middle of a race and start loading up. Then keep doing that till he stops. If he is yelling at you at any point even if it is the drive to the race just tell him you have changed you mind because of his yelling and are not going to race.

If you keep calm and don't yell it should work.

Other options might include - mentioning his future grandkids might like the sport, and just printing out what you have typed and taping it to his steering wheel late on a Sunday night so he finds it first thing Monday morning.

Best of luck to you.

.

well we dont want to make him look like a ***** :thumbsup:

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My vote, in dealing with your dad, is just to flat out stop racing. Now that is much easier said that done. That might put a stop to riding all together if your dad is the one that pays for it though. Coffees idea would probably work better though.

With the racing part of it, just have fun. Dont worry so much about winning. Just go out and have a good time. Im trying to get that through my brothers head. He is just starting out and thinks that he has to do everything that I do and clear every jump at the track. He just got his first bike a month ago.

If racing has become more work, or riding has become boring, mix it up a little bit. Go hit up different tracks or go hit up some natural terrain. That can be hard depending on where you live though. By me I have a track really close as well as a bunch of natural terrain stuff not too far away.

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Try telling him dad if you want me to be a better rider calm down and let me run a race without the pressure of wondering what is going to happen if i lose and just say to him let me run the next race with me calling all the shots see what i can do without the pressure of you constantly yelling at me and ask him WWJD (What Would Jesus Do).

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Take a break from racing and maybe riding for a while because it sounds like your burned out.

Steve

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Take a break from racing and maybe riding for a while because it sounds like your burned out.

Steve

yep...go play some golf with your dad, take up basketball, date some on weekends when you would regularly be racing, hang with all ur "normal" bros that you usually blow off to go ride...watch football, be a normal dude for a month or two and pretend like motocross never existed......trust me, you will come back hungrier than ever and have more fun riding than ever :ride: ..... if you and your dad can find some way to associate with each other besides mx(like golf, fishing, etc.), maybe he will be able to communicate with you a little better and be more understanding about how you would rather him be a fan than a coach. :thumbsup:

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try doing some trail riding or head around to some tracks you haven't ridden before. Basically try to go riding somewhere you don't normally ride and enjoy the new track and trail and don't put pressure on yourself to perform well, just try to enjoy riding.

If that doesn't work, take a few weeks off and do something else, before you know it you 'll be dying to head back and race

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yep...go play some golf with your dad, take up basketball, date some on weekends when you would regularly be racing, hang with all ur "normal" bros that you usually blow off to go ride...watch football, be a normal dude for a month or two and pretend like motocross never existed......trust me, you will come back hungrier than ever and have more fun riding than ever :ride: ..... if you and your dad can find some way to associate with each other besides mx(like golf, fishing, etc.), maybe he will be able to communicate with you a little better and be more understanding about how you would rather him be a fan than a coach. :thumbsup:
I don't even race and find this to be very true. Because I know that when I go to visit family for a week the only thing I can think of is jumping back on my bike.

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I just want to say, "congrats on making to the A class".

:ride:

And listen to what everyone else has said.

:thumbsup:

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OK, well here is the problem.......Help me out guys and get me back on the right track.

You're approaching burnout. Find other forms of fun - bicycles, other motorcycles/forms of motorcycling, shooting, ball sports, racquetball, anything that you find fun. Don't stop riding entirely, just taper it off for a little while and you'll find that your interest in it will flourish - at least it did for me.

And tell your dad that you're an adult now, and that if he continues to push you to do something you have found you dont want to do for a while, he'll lose any opportunity to do it with you when you abandon it entirely.

Good luck, you've already done enough introspection to realize what the problem is, you just have to find a functional solution now!

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Well, without knowing all the details and your pass with your dad and all that’s a tuff one to answer. I would say the best way to start is to have a heart to heart talk with your dad and explain to him that his yelling at you is just making the entire process worst. Other than that the following info may help.

“The Performance Rut”

Every great competitor hits the old performance rut from time to time. The important things to know are how and why you got in the rut and how to get out of it.

Some of the most common causes to have gotten in this rut in the first place are things like an injury, being sick with a nagging cold or flu, personal problems, over or under training, and so on. Most of the time you can overcome one of these problems quickly and not go into a downward spiral leading to a performance rut. However, what can take even the best competitors down into this performance rut is when they get dealt a combination of setbacks at the same time or in a row, one after the other. When these set backs come in this manner the racer doesn’t have time to recover from one problem and the next one is already affecting them.

This is exactly what happened to Supercross Superstar Jeremy McGrath in 1997. Jeremy was at the top of his career, coming into the 97 season as the dominate rider with multiple record breaking AMA Supercross titles and wins and World Supercross Titles and Motocross Des Nations wins from Europe. He also proved himself as a National Motocross Champion in 1995 by winning the 250 National Title. In 1996 Jeremy could hardly loose a race. In 1997 he could hardly win one.

What happen to Jeremy McGrath between 1996 and 1997? He was dealt a combination of setbacks one right after the other. He lost the 250 National Title to Jeff Emig in 1996 because of a serious foot and angle injury (set back number one). He took a well deserved break from racing after the 1996 season, maybe a little too long (set back number two). He didn’t like the new 97 Hondas in per season European Supercross races and was having arm pump problems and getting beat (set back number three). Jeremy had good political reasons to make a late switch from Honda to Suzuki just two weeks before the 1997 Supercross Series. The extra pressure and adaptation problems set him up for (set back number four). A few major mechanical problems created (set back number five). Jeremy was overcoming all these problems and finally starting to get his winning confidence back. Then he choked and crashed in two supercross races when he looked to have the win in the bag (set back number six). Jeremy ended up finishing 2nd in the AMA 250 Supercross Series in 1997.

When a competitor gets drilled by these types of setbacks it can take even the best of them on a downward spiral into the dreaded performance rut. Of course, we know that Jeremy did finally overcome these set backs and he climbed out of the performance rut by winning the 1998, 99, and 2000 250 Supercross Titles. The following information explains how he did it.

“Getting out of the performance rut”

When the poor performance problem persists after the initial causes have been cured, you have gotten yourself into a real performance rut. Being the natural competitor that you are, you’re going to want to get yourself back up to par, so you start trying harder than ever. You’re training harder and doing everything you can to get yourself back up to speed, but no matter what you do or how hard you try you just can’t seem to get going. You remain stuck in the rut. If this problem persists for a long period of time (like longer than six months) you’re going to loose your confidence and be thinking totally different than you were before the slump. A rider may even give up and stop trying so hard in order to protect themselves from further pain and disappointment. They end up just going through the motions but their heart is not into it. They may become involved with other side interest. Further attempts to get back the magic they once possessed is checkered by more failure and most of them end their careers while they’re still in the rut.

Before this happens to you you’ve got to drop back and punt, so to speak. First of all make a personal commitment that you will find a renewed sense of fun and enthusiasm for your sport again. You can’t perform at your best when it’s no fun. So, start making it fun again. Review your goals and objectives. It may be time to set some new goals for yourself. Why do you really want to race? Set some targets out there that will really motivate and inspire you to want to continue. Take a good look at your physical health and conditioning. Are you 100% free of injuries and in good enough condition to go wide open in competition without getting tired? If not, get these priorities straight. Rehabilitate your injuries and get on a good consistent training program which includes a good diet and good sleeping habits. Trying smarter, not just harder is key. Don’t over train. No matter how hard you try to get out of a performance rut, if you’re not physically capable you’re not going to make it.

If it’s not physical factors that are keeping you in this performance rut it must be mental factors. Acknowledge that your attitudes, believes, and confidence levels are not aimed at your best performance level and be willing to reprogram these mental factors back on target. By this time in the performance rut accepting these facts is not easy. Your self worth and confidence has already been taking a beating and now you have to point the finger at yourself. That’s besides the point. No one said it was going to be easy. What’s important here is that you commit to a total psychological recycling effort.

Currently your sub-conscience is programmed into the performance rut mode. You have to reprogram it into the total flow experience (TFE) mode. You have to start consistently thinking, acting, and looking as if you are already in the TFE mode. Eventually you will once again start experiencing the TFE mode while practicing and racing.

In order to do this you must reshape your attitude. You should understand the true definition of attitude. “A mental position or feeling in regard to a state or fact”. It’s basically your perception and view of reality. As we also have learned earlier (in a previous issue of M-X Racer) this perception and view (your attitude) has been created over a period of time by your thoughts and believes. First of all it’s helpful to understand that your perception and view of reality has many possibilities. No two persons are exactly the same. When you totally understand that your perception and view of reality (your attitude) has many possibilities it becomes much easier to reprogram your view and attitude.

One easy and effective way to improve your attitude and start getting yourself out of the performance rut is to start being aware and changing any negative thoughts that you may have into positive thoughts. If you have negative thoughts and beliefs, they will lead to negative feelings. Negative feelings will keep you in the performance rut. Every time you start to have a negative thought or feeling, stop it and replace it with a positive thought and feeling. Do this on a consistent bases, every time a negative thought comes into your head replace it with a positive thought and you will change the way you feel at a sub-conscience level. The first step to doing this is awareness. You have to become aware of your thoughts and feelings.

An example would be something like this. Let’s say this thought comes into your mind. Well, I don’t have good enough equipment. My bike’s not very fast. I can’t compete with those factory guys that are on much better equipment. If you have a thought like this and let yourself believe it, you are already beat before you even go to the race. This would also lower your motivation and standard of preparation during the week. If you had these negative thoughts you would want to replace it with something like this. Well, I know that I’m not on the best equipment out there, but if I can become good enough to compete on this equipment I’ll soon get the good stuff and I’ll for sure be able to win on it. Once you have this thought firmly in your head and you believe it, simply stop thinking about it and continue on.

Here’s another example. Let’s say you go out to your local track to practice and someone’s there that’s been doing better in the races than you have. The negative thought that comes into your head is that he’s better than you and it’s no fun to compete with this guy, because you always end up loosing. You just want to stay away from him and do your own thing. This negative way of thinking needs to be corrected in a hurry. Change the negative thought to something like, oh so look who’s here. I wonder how he practices? I’m going to pay attention and see what I can learn today. I’ll see if I can talk to him and maybe do some laps with him.

While we’re on a roll, let’s look at just one more example of negative thinking in regards to racing. Your sitting around during the week with nothing to do, so you become board. You’re thinking stuff like man, this place is boring, there’s nothing to do around here. To correct this negative way of thinking you become aware of your negative thoughts and realize that the reason you’re bore is not because of your environment but because of the way you’re viewing your environment. You change these negative thoughts into thoughts of appreciation for what you do have and create something to do. Bike maintenance, training, grocery shopping or something else to better prepare yourself for your racing goals. Boredom is a lack of creativity.

These examples could go on and on from your thoughts about a particular stranger who happens to be passing by on the street, to your thoughts about winning motocross races. The potential of your thoughts and beliefs is very powerful. Don’t under estimate them. Control your thoughts and beliefs and they will shape your feelings and manifest your realities in a more to your liking way. How long it takes to get noticeable results depends on you and what you are changing. It could take one day or six months. It all depends on the circumstances and you.

Of course not everyday is going to be a positive day no matter how hard you try. Sometimes you’re just going to fail and things just aren’t going to go your way. So what, learn from what didn’t work and go on. With this control you can design your life the way you really want it to be. Let your thoughts and beliefs go without your true awareness and life will design you. Use this simple process of weeding out negative non productive thoughts and replacing them with positive productive thoughts consistently (thought awareness and control process). Don’t try to force it, just let it happen naturally. When your internal conditions are right your performance rut will be over.

TOTAL FLOW CONCENTRATION

Total flow concentration is what every M-Xer wants to possess every time he races or practices. It's a state of consciousness where you are totally and completely absorbed by the activity of riding. You, the bike and the track are one. You are so into the activity of what you're doing that concentration is automatic. It's a high. It's like through practice and training, you've developed a sixth sense. And you use it when ever you practice and race. A big part of mental conditioning is to be able to go straight into this state of consciousness just before the gate drops, to be free from all distractions.

It takes years of desire, determination, and practice to develop this total flow concentration. First of all you have to perfect all of the basic techniques. When you can do every thing correctly with the bike and track, that it's easy, natural and automatic for you, things will come together and you will experience total flow concentration. For most people, once they've experienced this awesome feeling, their hooked. It's like a drug. After you get used to it you want it often. You need the fix. This is one thing that drives pros to practice. It's not work to them. They don't hate practice. They'd hate it if they couldn't ride. But, if anyone would ride too much, they would burn out. You want to do just the right amount, so you stay a little hungry.

Think about this. The top pros cut lap times, lap after lap for 35 minutes, and every lap is within 2 seconds time difference. Most laps even closer. And many times there are 5 or 6 riders doing this together. This is on National tracks that are over two and a half minute lap times. And it's the same thing in S-X, with the exception of shorter motos and lap times. How do they do this? They've mastered all the techniques, they have years of experience, they've dedicated themselves, and they race in total flow concentration.

:thumbsup::ride::applause:

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OK, well here is the problem. I am in the A class now and having a hard time keeping up. I usually finish about mid-pack or back and I'm so depressed with myself that I dont know what to do to get this any better. I broke my leg last year (fisrt serious injury in 10 years of racing) and I'm not sure if that sin the back of my mind or what. I keep telling myself I'm not afraid or anything and I am going faster than I was when it happened but I'm still getting smoked and just get so down on myself that I dont even feel like being at the track anymore. The other problem is my dad, who is one of the typical mini dads that yells at his kid all the time. Problem is that I'm 20 years old and in the expert class now and he just cant get over that way of doing things and makes me so mad. So, what do I tell him to get off my back so I can ride for myself, and not just to keep him happy? Also, what can I do to get my head back on straight and have fun again? When I'm racing I just feel like I dont want to be there sometimes but I love it and wouldnt want to be anywhere else or doing enything else. It just seems like I might be to the point that my dad had drained every last bit of fun out of it and made it like a job with his constant put-downs and criticism. Help me out guys and get me back on the right track.

Leave Dad at home for a while and just race for yourself. Go to the races with some buddies and just have fun!! He just might get the message that he is ruining the sport for you (and anyone that can hear him in the pits)

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Dude, you're being way too hard on yourself. I'd give my left nad to be riding mid pack in the expert class. You should be proud of yourself. After all, that means you're better than half the guys out there.

As for your dad, I think you need to have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell him that you appreciate everything that he's done for you but you really need his help. Tell him that you want to be friends but friends don't yell at each other like that and his yelling is not helping you go faster. Let him know that you need some positive reinforcement.

You know that he just wants you to be the best you can be. He's just going about it the wrong way and he probably doesn't even realize it. You've gotta tell him or it will never change.

If you can't talk to him, maybe just let him read this post. He might get the message. If he's not much on computers then print it out for him. Old timers like me and your dad do better with hard copy.

Sounds like you're a really good rider and you enjoy it. So like most said, just go out and have fun.

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hey i just started riding about last augest but in october i borke my leg and my dad was pissed off and hated bikes and wheni got back on in january he hated it he was like u will never race so i stepped him up by putting his money where his mouth is and got my mom and dad to cosign for a brand new rm100 and he was shocked and go into it well he got right into it it was a little to much he was pusshing me and pushing me yes it was great that i had something to light a fire under my ass but when it camp t my first race in april he was like u better be good then i told him to stop pushing me and trell em to go out there and let me ride my onw race and he completrly stoped pushing me and i regret telling him that cuz it gave me the fuel to make me ride hard and him getting so hard on u means he wants u to be the best as u can be and he is proud of u hell i will trade u my left nut to race expert class heck let him push u anfd find ur groove and kick ass

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take a break and go to the local mx park do some free riding and leave dad at home and tell him why it bothers you when he says stuff like he does just take a break from competetive riding and go ride were you want to when you want to and i think that would relieve a lot of stress and get you back on track.

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