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A disagreement.

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Ok So I just got my first dirtbike back in the beginning of February. I've been on quads all my life, but quads and dirtbikes are like night and day. So for the past couple weeks I've been learning and practicing with my bike on the trails around my house, The trails that I'm familiar and comfortable with. It was only like a week ago that I climbed my first hill.

Well this weekend my boyfriend really wanted to go up the mountains and ride but I told him that I didn't think I was comfortable enough on my bike to tackle those trails yet. We went up there in January on our quads and the trails were atrocious. Well he got kind of aggitated that I was a bit timid about going to the mountains w/ my bike. He said just take my quad but I don't want to ride my quad this weekend, I wanted to ride my bike because it's supposed to be nice and I could practice a little more.

So I wake up this morning to find out that we're goin' ridin around here but he's not too happy about it. Now I feel bad, like I'm holding him back from where he wants to ride because I'm not experienced enough. Am I in the wrong here? Should I have just sucked it up and attempted the harder trails?

blaaahhh :bonk:

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Heck no. If he wanted to ride some tough trails he could have gone with some more experience guys one day and taken you out the next day. I can understand holding up fast guys, cuz I'm the slow one on all the trail rides.

I can whoop my husnband on the track though!:bonk:

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No, you should NEVER let ANYONE force you into riding ANY trail you are not ready for ..... that's a great way to get hurt.

Why do you HAVE to go with him? Let him go on a "guy" ride AKA the more experienced rider trip. Stay home and let him go. It won't kill you to sit this one out.

I always do that. I'm NEVER going to be as good as him. He started at 8, I started at 32 (I think). He's healthy. I have FMS/CFS. I'm NEVER going to catch up. Let him go on a trip that's going to beat him to death and he can barely walk when he gets home.

THEN, he can take you on a less challenging trip. He won't mind at ALL.

We have some trails up here that have a main trail that really easy, and has some side trips that meet up again with the main trail. We usually take that one as it gives me a chance to warm up (cause usually MONTHS go by between my rides) and we both have the option of taking off on a difficult side trail. We usually have someone in his riding ability go with, then I take the main trail and meet up.

You guys will figure it out. It just takes some flexibility.

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I totally agree with DRZ! Guys who have been riding tend to forget that they had to learn too. I rode miles of logging roads before I ever took my first trail - and then it was because I thought I was ready to do it. Only do what you're comfortable with - otherwise you'll probably get hurt.

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gonna get a little harsh here...

Tell him to get over himself and next time he needs to try a little harder to not wreck your enjoyment in the sport. Sometimes when we get pushed too hard, we walk away from it forever.

So you're going riding locally but he's going to let you know that he's "not happy about it"? So he's doing you a massive favor because you suck and he's great and so he'll lower himself to your level...but won't let you forget what a disappointment it is?

How passive-aggressive is that? :naughty:

How about this - you ride locally and he can have a nice long aggro ride in the mountains...by himself.

Sorry to get so :D about this but hubby did this to me for a long time until I did a sport he wasn't as good at (rollerblading) and he finally "got it" with regard to pushing the crap out of me riding. Sometimes he still tries it but it stops in a hurry.

You should want to ride your bike because it's fun, you enjoy it, and you want to learn...not because he expects you to and you're supposed to perform for him.

This is coming from a woman whose husband, in the early days, was so concerned about having *his* fun that he dragged his been-on-the-bunny-slopes-two-times-EVER wife up to the double black diamond Stumps Alley Run in Mammoth...and then had the temerity to get pissed at me because it took me two hours to get down a horrendous hill with shoulder-high moguls. (I was nearly puking with fear and fatigue by the time I got to the bottom) Then there was the time I started out surfing on a board too big for me in winter swells with eight foot sets coming in one after the other...I was on the swim team for two years and nearly drowned in the ocean because hubby thought I could "handle it". :bonk: And on and on it goes...Although he's far better now.

So I've been there, done that, bough the t-shirt in your situation and I can tell you it will get worse unless you put a stop to it now.

*drags soapbox away*

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You should want to ride your bike because it's fun, you enjoy it, and you want to learn...not because he expects you to and you're supposed to perform for him.

Excellent advice. :bonk:

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No, you should NEVER let ANYONE force you into riding ANY trail you are not ready for ..... that's a great way to get hurt...

and wind up hating the sport.

Great advice :bonk:

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No, you should NEVER let ANYONE force you into riding ANY trail you are not ready for ..... that's a great way to get hurt.
Great advice :bonk:

Tell my riding partners that. They make me do it all the time. :naughty::D

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Tell him to go ride wherever he wants, and recruit some new buddies who ride where YOU like to go. Be selfish. do what YOU want to do. nobody else is going to work as hard to make you happy as you will.

boyfriends can be little shits sometimes, but they aren't "in charge" even though they'd like to be.

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No, you should NEVER let ANYONE force you into riding ANY trail you are not ready for ..... that's a great way to get hurt.

Absolutely!! When YOU feel that YOU are good enough to go on those more challenging rides, then you go with him. Until then, continue to build your skills on trails YOU (notice the repetition here?)feel comfortable with.

The point I'm making here is that YOU are the best judge of your skill level. No one else.

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Rule #1 NEVER ride over your head.

Rule #2 NEVER let any one talk you in to breaking Rule #1.

One time at MX Camp I let this girl talk me into trying the Chinese Wheelbarrow when everyone was asleep.

And I'm still paying the chiropractor bills.

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You should of just took your quad, what was he supposed to do? He had wanted to go to the mountains and ride, you could of took either ride.

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It's looking like he has an issue with her learning curve. A lot of guys don't realize that *most* women are more cautious when it comes to learning a fairly dangerous sport - be it riding, shooting, naked polo...

...why are you all looking at me like that?

Anyway, most guys just go balls to the wall and let the injuries happen as they may. Most women take things a bit slower and become familiar before they get aggro.

Sounds like he has a power issue with her wanting to take her time and is making her feel bad about it. Tell him to get stuffed and he can recruit some male buddies to be macho with while you're learning how to ride him into the dirt. :bonk:

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Yes, I've been sitting out two weekends now because the boys are riding at a track that doesn't have an intermediate track for people like me who don't want to get squished trying to share the big track with all the boys - it sucks, but I recognize my limits even if they're mostly in my head. You never let anyone push you into riding beyond your skill and expertise. If he really wants to help you out he could give you some one-on-one mentoring or what I call baby-ducking. Lead you around, show you the lines to ride, stance, etc. Find out where your fears come in to play and come up with skill building exercises that will help you build the confidence to face the variety of challenges we find on the track and trail. My friend did that with me so that at some point I'll have the confidence to hit the big track. I expect my fear is more than it should be, but I'm the only one who can say when I'll be ready to tackle those things that scare the hell out of me. The more I ride, the more places I go, the greater my confidence. It really does help to have someone take the time to help you practice and build your skill and confidence.

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Suggestion for the beginning riders... try to cultivate friends and riding buddies that are your skill level. Its nice to have a group that you don't feel like you are 'slowing down' all the time, and also gives you more control over when, where, and how often you practice, if you have your own little 'network' you can call on! :bonk:

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Suggestion for the beginning riders... try to cultivate friends and riding buddies that are your skill level. Its nice to have a group that you don't feel like you are 'slowing down' all the time, and also gives you more control over when, where, and how often you practice, if you have your own little 'network' you can call on! :bonk:

I couldn't agree with this more! When I was married I started a network of riding friends through a local club. I'm divorced now but still have a great network of riding buddies so I'm not dependent upon on or 2 people to go riding.

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yea i was forced to ride things waaaayy outta my league when i first strted too....i really thank my friends for doing that because some of the stuff i would have never tried and it really did make me a better rider

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Yes, I've been sitting out two weekends now because the boys are riding at a track that doesn't have an intermediate track for people like me who don't want to get squished trying to share the big track with all the boys - it sucks, but I recognize my limits even if they're mostly in my head.

Dang that sucks! you should find somewhere else to ride when they go there, and others to ride with. You shouldn't have to sit at home just because you can't/don't want to go with them.

I do think a certain amount of "pushing" is a good thing. I followed my riding buddies on stuff that WAS way over my head, and I wasn't even experienced enough to know I shouldn't have been there. Yeah it was tough and I had some rotten days riding but it made me a better rider. Some of those trails I rode when I'd only had my KTM a few weeks still make me go :bonk: and when the AA enduro guys are bulldogging THEIR bikes, you know it ain't a good thing. Still ... I survived.

So, don't let your fear keep you off the bike or limit you to the flat trails. I have found the absolute best way to progress on a bike is to mix up your riding experiences. Go on a kick-your-ass trail one weekend, then next time hit an easy trail and work on handing your bike at higher speeds, then hit the MX track the weekend after that, and maybe some desert/dunes or back to some tough trails the following weekend. You will take something different away from each type of experience, and if you just do the same thing over and over you will only reinforce bad habits and fears. If you do too-hard trails over and over, you'll get frustrated and discouraged; if you do easy trails all the time you won't learn as quickly; and if you never try trails or MX, if you're only really into ONE type of riding, you won't learn the techniques that really do transfer to the other sport. Sliding the rear tire around corners is something the MXers do a lot, and that can work really well for you in the woods. The woods guys have a lot of things they do that can sometimes give you an edge on the MX track as well. The dunes are a good place to become one with your throttle, since you kind of HAVE to to get anywhere; if you spend a day WFO in the sand, you'll come home and feel more confident at higher speeds on your regular turf later.

So while nobody should push or force you, at the same time you need to leave your comfort zone if you're at all interested in making serious progress as a rider.

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I agree with FC22, nobody should PUSH you but I know that at times I totally underestimate my abilities.

Karl has been very good over the years of pushing me to ride sections that I was intimidated by but he was also there to help me if I needed it and "mentor" me like Princess described.

A lot of it depends on how determined one is to ride more aggressively or more difficult terrain. Some people prefer riding for pure enjoyment and don't crave a challenge, others are into it for the challenge and the rider, along with the riding partner/mentor needs to take that into consideration.

I know riders that are more confident and skilled than I am that bag out on some of the sections that I will attempt, all depends on your motivation and I love a challenge so I appreciate the fact that Karl will make sure he finds a challenge for me somewhere! Of course sometimes that results in me threatening to dump the bike over the cliff and walk home but I haven't done that (yet).

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