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Male bashing jokes

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this is bad, how?

Well, whilst the 'getting well laid the first time' is undoubtedly good fun, the 'walked all over for the rest of my life' part isn't....... :ride::thumbsup::bonk:

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:bonk:

lol... it's okay TBR, I'll give you some credit, at least you can admit it. It takes my husband about 25 extra miles before he realizes it. :ride:

LOL! I've never really understood that. Just pull over and ask for directions. Where's the harm?

That said, any time I pull over and wind down the window people seem to run for cover..... :thumbsup::eek:

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I have a joke..... not a man bashing joke, kind of a woman bashing joke.... but all the girls I ever told it to laughed, so here goes....

Q. Why does it take 10 premenstrual women to change a light bulb?

A. IT JUST F****** DOES. OK!

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I have a joke..... not a man bashing joke, kind of a woman bashing joke.... but all the girls I ever told it to laughed, so here goes....

Q. Why does it take 10 premenstrual women to change a light bulb?

A. IT JUST F****** DOES. OK!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, God, that's the first time I've laughed in 2 days. Thank you.

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A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, "PIG!!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "B!TCH!!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

If only men would listen.

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Everybody have fun layin some linoleum this weekend!!:thumbsup:

( I thought I was gonna get beat up for that one) Thank you Ladies:thumbsup:

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A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, "PIG!!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "B!TCH!!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

If only men would listen.

But my question is did the woman hit a dog around the corner too?

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Everybody have fun layin some linoleum this weekend!!:thumbsup:

( I thought I was gonna get beat up for that one) Thank you Ladies:thumbsup:

We can always use some good humor in here!

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But my question is did the woman hit a dog around the corner too?

Ha. Good question.

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A female brain cell finds herself inside a mans head. It seems quiet......

'Hello?' 'Helloooooooo?' 'Anyone in here?'

She looks around for a while, it would appear she's all alone. She continues to search around the head, desperately looking for a male brain cell to talk to. However as it becomes clear she IS the only one in there, she gets a little freaked and begins to yell.

'HELLO!' 'ANYONE?' 'HELP!!!!!!!!!!'

She yells for a good while then she hears, very quiet and obviously from a long way away......

'We're down here.........................................................'

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A female brain cell finds herself inside a mans head. It seems quiet......

'Hello?' 'Helloooooooo?' 'Anyone in here?'

She looks around for a while, it would appear she's all alone. She continues to search around the head, desperately looking for a male brain cell to talk to. However as it becomes clear she IS the only one in there, she gets a little freaked and begins to yell.

'HELLO!' 'ANYONE?' 'HELP!!!!!!!!!!'

She yells for a good while then she hears, very quiet and obviously from a long way away......

'We're down here.........................................................'

dude,don't say that! Like OMG! thats disgusting. likkeeeeee, ewwwww

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Because I know you ladies enjoy these so:

FUNNIES

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

because they are plugged into a genius

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

they don't have enough time

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

they don't stop to ask directions

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock

5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties

6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

you need a rough draft before you make a final copy

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

don't know.....it never happened

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

because a vibrator can't mow the lawn

MORE FUNNIES

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manual."

i am offended for the males of the species. i didn't hear anything about this in Maleism class. have i been duped by my education administers or am i sheltered?:thumbsup:

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^^^^:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

lol... I agree with I'll be ready in a few minutes.

#34 - Most men would get lost in a shoebox and... they never ask for directions!

:worthy:

Im not lost, just let me wander around aimlessly for a while and Ill find my way again

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dude,don't say that! Like OMG! thats disgusting. likkeeeeee, ewwwww

I'm sorry. The truth does hurt a little sometimes............. :thumbsup:

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A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, "PIG!!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "B!TCH!!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

If only men would listen.

HAHA thats the first time i laughed like that in a long time lol :thumbsup:

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Okay, I'll add a couple (since this is the thread that caught my attantion and brought me in here).

1) Why can't women measure?

Because all their life they've been told this is 6" (hold your fingers apart far enough to fit your hand grip in)

2) Why do men wake up with an erection?

Because it acts as a kickstand so they don't roll over on their faces and suffocate.

3) On the news last week they had a story that a baby had been born with the organs of both a male & a female.

It had a ***** & a brain.

And my favorite (told to me by my ex-wife several times)

4) The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

But it takes a knife with at least a 12" blade.

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A woman is driving with her husband, he says "I want a divorce because I'm seeing a girl at work". She doesn't flinch. He says "I want the house,kids,boat and the bikes". She still don't show any emotion and this bothers him so he says isn't there any thing you want? She says " I already have everything I need". He asks whats that? She floors the gas and turns towards a concrete barrier and says " The airbag"

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