OT Mens for Rules

Here you go....Rules to Live by!

1) Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed

by and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

2) Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

3) It is ok for a man to cry under the following Circumstances:

a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

:D The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

c) After wrecking your boss' car.

d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".

e) When she is using her teeth.

4) Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend

out of jail within 12 hours.

5) If you've known a man for more than 24 hours, his sister as well

as

his ex-girlfriends are off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.

6) Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friend's fridge is

forbidden.

7) Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

8) No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for

another

man in fact, even remembering your friend's birthday is strictly optional.

9) On road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the

weakest.

10) When stumbling upon other men watching a sporting event, you may

ask

the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

11) It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're

sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless

supermodel...and it's free.

12) Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed

to

kick another man in the nuts.

13) Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14) Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15) If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see

anything.

16) Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as

spies

until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as

much as the other sports watchers.

17) You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of

a

girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw

it into a ceiling fan.

18) A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must

remain sober enough to fight.

19) Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of

pizza, but not both - that's just mean.

20) If you complement a man on his six-pack, you'd better be talking

about his choice of beer.

21) Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a friend of yours,

except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

22) Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting

weights:

a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!

:) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!

c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

23) Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:

a) both urinating

:D both waiting in line

c) etc.

For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the

conversation you need.

24) Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you

are

able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; hang up if

necessary.

25) You cannot harp on a colleague who shows up at work with a massive

hangover. You may however, hide the aspirin, smear his chair with cheese,

turn the brightness dial all the way down so he thinks his monitor is

broken, and have him paged over the loud speaker every seven minutes.

26) It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable

for

her to drive yours.

27) Thou shalt not buy a car with an engine capacity of less than

1.5litres. Thou shall not really buy a car with less than 2 litres, 16

valves, and a turbo.

28) Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green,

orange or sky blue.

29) The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for

Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a

Playstation2. End of story.

The 'hopper

LOL, good one hopper!

Don't forget:

When doing squats at the gym, never say "I feel it in my butt now" while your friend is spotting you. :D:)

Good rules, but 19 is a litle off. It is not okay to drink the last beer in your friends fridge unless,

a. you are going to get more.

b. he owes you money.

check these out

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

go bucs :)

Pretty good but I think you've got a typo in 29! :D

It should read:

29) The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for

Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a NEW MOTORCYCLE!!

I made this correction and emailed it to some buddy's and my wife... :)

Her response:

Hmmmmmmm........... I guess #29 explains why I have TWO BIKES..........

:D :D :D :D

Chris,

You're wifes bikes must be like the bikes I buy for my wife. She's never ridden them, and I ride them all the time. For some reason saying it's hers even if she has no intention of ever learning how to ride the thing makes the purchase go over better. :)

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