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Suggestions for the NWS?

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Okay, so I got bit real bad by the NWS (Nagging Wife Syndrome) today. Laid into me nice and thick about all the time I spend riding, reading, internet surfing, etc about my bike-habit. If I open my mouth to defend myself, it gets even more brutal. I've found that if I just shut up and agree with her, she'll walk away faster. Been working for the last 12 years, I see no reason to quit.

Short of leaving, or saying anything that'll lead to her dis-membering me in the middle of the night/shaving off an eyebrow, how do you handle the nagging mule.....umm, I mean Mrs?

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My wife wants me to go ride. I'm much easier to be around when I ride regularly(sp?). Tried earplugs?

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I am just a jerk when I don't ride then real nice when I come home. She can't wait for me to leave. Maybe soncho is coming by when I am gone? Who cares he hasn't ruined it yet and I get to ride.

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Does she have a hobby? I live with my girlfriend and the same thing happens to me almost on a weekly basis. Now that it is getting nice out she is starting to ride horses (her hobby), so she stays off my back. lol

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Yeah, just letting it pass is usually the safest course of action. Arguing doesn't work cause she always get the last word in anyways.

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Spend more time with her, take her out, sounds like you don't do any of it. If she's happy then she'll let you be happy doing whatever the hell you want!

Sometimes us guys just want to do our own thing, and only have the significant other around when we want them to be. When you want to be with someone, or when you want to have sex, then you just discard them while you do your own thing all the time. This is when she shows NWS "nagging wife syndrome"

Never give up what you like to do to make her happy, but at the same time spend time with her to make her happy.

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Does she have a hobby? I live with my girlfriend and the same thing happens to me almost on a weekly basis. Now that it is getting nice out she is starting to ride horses (her hobby), so she stays off my back. lol

Yeah i have the same problem! It just seems like women dont have any or as much hobbies as guys and they get extremely jealous. But dont dare tell her she doesnt have any hobbies :banana: lol made that mistake even if she didnt want to admit it.

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My wife wants me to go ride. I'm much easier to be around when I ride regularly(sp?). Tried earplugs?

Or duct tape?

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Duh...... Go riding!

No just kidding. I think Brentn has it right. If you want to spend the rest of your life happy, then you need to make decisions that show respect for your wife. Ask her what would make her happy, you might be suprised that what she wants is not a big deal.

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I decided a long time ago that women dont want to be happy. And they will make every attempt to make sure you arent either. I am a strong willed individual. I dont take much shit from anyone. While I want my wife to be happy I just dont see that happening. It is just impossible to make anyone happy that choses to not be. Women fit that ideal perfectly.........................Sorry I can give you no advice... Up to you to decide what you are willing to put up with. I for one have come to my ropes end and am unwilling to dangle for her enjoyment......................Oldskoo11

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Spend more time with her, take her out, sounds like you don't do any of it. If she's happy then she'll let you be happy doing whatever the hell you want!

I respectfully disagree. OldSkool11 seems to be closest.

I admit, my wife is pretty understanding about me riding 3-4 weekends a month, but it isn't without.....I dunno, whatever she is saying while I am loading my bike.

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Dude,

Life is too short for that sorta stuff. My missus knows I am riding/racing and she either likes it or is gone. She even helped pay for my new bike. Stoked. Maybe I am just super lucky. Would hate to put up with anything like that and just wouldnt. Depending how far into a relationship you are would have a huge bearing on this too I guess. Sounds like something needs to change.

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Buy her a bike and take her with you... It could work.

"Sorry Honey, I can't hear you over the sound of me revving!"

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My riding buddies have noticed how much time and attention I devote to her needs, and according to them, their wives are jealous. I've got 12 years, 3 kids, a dog, and a cat into this..........so I'm not about to let anything escalate anytime soon. She is offered her fair share of "personal time." Whether that includes a trip to the day spa (at my expense), an empty house to study in, or an evening out with her gal-friends, I don't care. I offer it up, and its up to her to take advantage of it. I've tried to include her in all of my hobbies, including riding. I bought 2 different ATVs for her, and she never wanted to ride. She's just not into it.

I have ZERO problem assuming the role of the cook, house cleaner, kids tutor, and the head-honcho entertainment provider. I'm not afraid of being a parent. I've stood by her when she made the decision to start our family while still being students. I stood by her when she lost her job, and I took on a 2nd. Hell, I even stood by her when she cheated! Quite frankly, I consider myself to be a helluva guy. And her family has told me so, as well!

I guess it just boils down to is this.........."what else am I willing to put up with?" I've thought about leaving when she finishes her degree and can provide for herself. But, I grew up in a broken home (like alot of other people), and I don't want to subject my kids to that kind of pain.

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Dude,

You are way too nice, and life is too short. If she cheated on you I cant believe you are still with her. The fact that you are, and are so supportive she owes you BIG TIME. If she doesnt let you ride, things need to seriously change. I have several friends that have been in similar situations, and once they realised that they could support and provide for their children being single, they managed to move on and really start to live their life again. Both have now re-established themsleves and are much better to be around and have really moved on, met great chicks, and have great young boys who love spending time with their dads. Sounds like you need to have a seriously long hard think about your current situation and decide if you are REALLY happy, or if things could be better for yourself. You cant always live your life supporting everyone else, and need to be happy within. Dont want to sound like I am preaching, but this kind of strikes a nerve with me as I have seen good mates of mine in destructive depressing relationships and in my book their is nothing worse.

Good luck !!!!!!

:banana:

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I have ZERO problem assuming the role of the cook, house cleaner, kids tutor, and the head-honcho entertainment provider. I'm not afraid of being a parent. I've stood by her when she made the decision to start our family while still being students. I stood by her when she lost her job, and I took on a 2nd. Hell, I even stood by her when she cheated! Quite frankly, I consider myself to be a helluva guy. And her family has told me so, as well!

I guess it just boils down to is this.........."what else am I willing to put up with?" I've thought about leaving when she finishes her degree and can provide for herself. But, I grew up in a broken home (like alot of other people), and I don't want to subject my kids to that kind of pain.

It sounds like she owns you more than she is marrried to you. Strange way to put it, but that is my observation. I went through a similar situation with an ex, albeit without the kids (thank doG). I almost killed myself from the amount of booze it took to numb the pain I was in from trying to work things out. I consider the day we finally blew up as one of the greatest moments of my life.

You need to look at what is more imortant to you. Is it saving a marriage that in all reality may not be savable? Would you give up riding for your family? No offense, but it sounds like that may be your only way of appeasing her here. You mention that she is in school. Is there a possibility that she has an exit plan for this relationship after she finishes draining your bank account?

Tough situations require tough questions to be asked. Have you two tried counselling? I am not a fan of divorce, but sometimes it is the only option. A broken home can just as easily be a home in which two parents stay together for the wrong reasons as it can be one in which the parents are no longer together.

In this day and age, getting married before the age of 30 is a huge risk. Not one I was willing to take.

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Mine was doing the same crap....I told her it is me period....I told her when i go riding go do something...she likes poker and such...so the kid to the babysitter...she goes to "the boat"(casino)....and I go braapp....then when I come home she cant complain cause my hobby costs way less than hers...

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