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About MichelleTTR

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    New Zealand
  1. MichelleTTR

    Rider Down

    Dated the 7th: Taken from the website link posted two posts above MotoDad393's post. Lovely to read of improvements, especially when it's young ones involved (don't take it out of context, never nice to hear of anyone seriously injured or dead, no matter their age).
  2. MichelleTTR

    RIP Bill Perrot

    A few years back, I worked with a guy 10 years my junior, who, at age 16, had had a heart transplant. He also had a kidney & lung transplant, and numerous other things wrong with him. Anyway, thanks to folk like yourself, I got to meet a wonderful person. We've lost touch now, but I did talk to him earlier this year to pass on my condolences about his younger/only brother. I can imagine the decision is damned hard to make, but it really does make a fantastic difference to those who are priviledged to receive the donations. Condolences on your loss but your friend (and Garrett) lives on, not only in memory, but also in some fortunate folk who will thank the unknown donor for as long as they live.
  3. MichelleTTR

    Last few weeks (off topic)

    It's not the age thing. I'm 43. Surely if I wanted kids I'd have tried before now (our marriage agreement at age 30 included no kids). I've actually had a crap week and managed to get into a way low spot, but as I'm typing this, managed to get through it (with a lot of help/concern from my husband). I can't wait to get back on the bike, I did go pillion on the weekend and was stunned when I was sore the following day. It felt like I'd been riding my dirtbike, that nice sore (just around the shoulders). Ah well, time will sort it all out, I hope
  4. MichelleTTR

    What the hell is wrong with me

    I used to be like that, I never could sleep the night before a ride and would start the day stuffed before I'd even climb on the bike. Now I have trouble waking up to go riding and sometimes even don't bother (unless I've promised someone I'll be there). The fire has gone out, the embers are fading. I have done some riding this year and been all fired up, but by the next time I've decided to ride, can't be bothered. I know with me, one of the problems is that I haven't ridden much in the past couple of years, and am worried that I'd get smoked by friends, and they won't want to ride with me again. Basically, I've lost confidence. I did do a race earlier this year and compared lap times with one of my buddies - we're still similar enough that she won't have to wait long if at all. Now it's trying to find a ride we're both going to and managing to organise us riding together. I have also lost one of my riding buddies as she moved away and just not interested any more, with another one having given up due to a baby. None of that will help you but what it could be is that you're worried something could happen and you won't be able to look after bubs. It could be that it's just too soon, or you need to find something else to do. Give it time, it may come back.
  5. MichelleTTR

    Last few weeks (off topic)

    I've been asking for a hysterectomy since I was in my 20's, but for some dumb reason that I have no idea, they keep telling me no. Each time they mentioned "hyster" I got my hopes up, but they'd finish it with "oscopy". I did say before they put me under that a hysterectomy would be fine if that was an option. What worries me is I keep hearing how painful what I've had done is, but it hasn't been. I'm not saying it hasn't been sore, but I've not had to dump down too many painkillers and have probably taken more than I've needed. Today at work I did start finding my limit - I really can't stretch normally without pain and I have had to stop myself doing some things, because it could do internal damage. One day last week I was in a lot of pain, but I did nothing but lay around and read. The days I walked around more were better. I'm doing a lot of walking, which is good. I just miss my independence with driving & riding, but it's only short term. Just thinking about it, maybe they won't give me the hysterectomy because they think it's not so bad - they look at me funny when I say I'm not on regular pain meds, as though, well, in that case the pain can't be unbearable. They don't see what I've been going through. They did almost put me in a mental asylum when I said after a hospital visit that I was tempted just to go and end it then and not have to deal with the bureaucratic bullshit they were putting me through. Fark, I had to do some fast talking to get out of that - they don't have a sense of humour at times (then again, I wasn't sure myself how serious I was about it). I have also had someone say that I obviously didn't have endo as I could get out of bed each day. I know with my busy job now, it's easier to get out of bed some days, as with a job where I wasn't busy, I'd think about how little I had to do and decide to wallow in self-pity at home rather than doing it at work when I'd run out of things to do (which would've been an hour or two later). I have a high pain tolerance, and wonder if that means I don't actually feel some of the pain or what. I had an x-ray a number of years ago and got asked when I'd broken my wrist. I will never know when I broke it as I didn't think at that stage I'd ever broken a bone in my body (yes, pre dirt-biking days lol). I think others go through a lot worse than I've been through, and am definitely not heroic. I think a lot of endo sufferers are possibly as ignorant as I was about the whole thing and have never heard of the damned condition. I've got to see the surgeon again in a few weeks, so will ask him again at that stage and expect yet another negative answer, but hopefully I won't be as desperate for one again for a number of years
  6. MichelleTTR

    Last few weeks (off topic)

    Part two. The one thing I kept stressing about was that I had to go through the anxiety again. I kept trying to remember that calm that had come over me in the hospital, but didn't really. With the operation, I was either going home same day, staying one night or worst-case scenario, two nights. The day before the next scheduled operation, things went a bit wrong at work, I felt like I should be in tears and feeling miserable, but felt almost okay. It probably helped that I didn't have my period for a change, and so my hormones weren't totally stuffed up. I also could think a bit past the operation and didn;t have the same wall there. Day of the operation was a repeat of first time around, but there was no bed ready for me this time, so we sat in a waiting room, reading and talking. I had to have another blood test as the first one was too old. I'd known they were going to do a urine test, so this time had ensured a full bladder (and not as much alcohol lol). Righto, bed's up now, so off we trundle. Get ready and no sign of heading into theatre this time. In the end, I told my husband to go as the first surgery was taking longer than expected, I'd seen the surgeon (we both had a good talk with him and his colleagues), and all it was was a waiting game. Finally it was time to head to the hills, where I got to meet the rest of the team, complain that the mainline was not going the same place as last time (the bruise was still there), so the poor guy complained I'd just made the job harder for him. Up from the wrist area may be harder to put the line in, but it doesn't hurt as much (bruise is still there though). Surgery took longer than expected, a lot of the endo was removed (bowel and pelvic bones). I'm due back at work tomorrow and I'm bored with not being allowed to do much. Public transport is horrible (no driving for a couple of weeks), I miss my bikes. I've had to cancel a training day at a new racetrack as I won't be ready for it yet, and don't think I'll even be up for riding down there. I'm looking forward to getting on the dirtbike again, but the roadbike is screaming at me - my husband bought me a new muffler as a get well pressie, now that's cool, so we're waiting till I'm able to ride to compare the old with the new. Time will tell how the op went and if it helps again or it was just a miserable experience for me to go through for nada (I doubt it, I'm feeling more positive as it is). If you managed to read all of that, I'm amazed hehehe. I just sort of needed to vent. If you do suffer endo, you'll know what I'm talking about. It was bad as periods were often every couple of weeks and heavy. The depression was getting really bad as well, and suicide was becoming a very real option at times, which it hadn't been since my late 20's.
  7. MichelleTTR

    Last few weeks (off topic)

    Hi all. This is totally off-topic, but maybe it'll help someone else. About 8-9 years ago, I was diagnossed as having endometriosis, which I'd never heard of. I had a laparoscopy done, some tissue removed and all was well with the world of Michelle for a while. Over the past few years, it's been getting worse again, and finally last year I'd had enough of it. I went & saw my gynaecologist, he advised I needed another operation and it would go ahead within the next six months. Nine months later, I finally got a letter to say the operation was going ahead in three weeks. I booked time off work, stressed out to the max, burst into tears all the time and generally was miserable. I couldn't see past the op, there was a wall there. The day before the op, things went wrong at work, which meant my stress level was way up there, but it sorted out before I went home. (Emails had stopped coming in, which meant that all orders from customers had to be manually keyed, and it was going to be confusing when the emails started coming in). Anyway, at some ungodly hour the next day, I get woken by my husband to get ready, so we head off (me not having had coffee or a smoke and feeling miserable with a heavy period yet again). Once I was in the bed, a total feeling of calm came over me, everything was all right - except for the fact I hadn't seen the surgeon yet. They came to take me to theatre, with me bitching I hadn't seen the surgeon. No worries, you'll see him down there (I finally had a name given to me as well, I had no idea who was going to operate). Once in theatre they were dead keen to put in the mainline right by my thumb (it's easiest place apparently, never mind it hurts like hell). After being asked questions, etc, I got told that the operation was probably cancelled as the surgeon wasn't in yet and he was always there early. Wait a bit longer, yes, it's been cancelled. Thanks for coming in, have a nice day. Naturally, I once again burst into tears, ask them to phone my husband who was possibly not yet out of the hospital and head back to the ward. Well, that was fun. What can I do tomorrow to top this? We head off for some breakfast/coffee, I phoned work to say I'd be in tomorrow and spent the day feeling sorry for myself. The next day I get another letter to give me another date. I book another week or so off work, and tell them that even if the surgery doesn't go ahead, I'm taking time off. I'm also going inside for murder (after I track the surgeon down).
  8. MichelleTTR

    Lost my Riding Partner...now what?

    clay, good on you for doing what you had to do. But, what strikes me as wierd is you telling your g/f to buy a bike, then when she does, you sell yours not long after. Seems like there's something you're not telling her. Probably me just being old and jaded.
  9. MichelleTTR

    Wipe Out!!!!!!

    Good luck. If you get on, definitely let us know what episode/series. Not sure how far we are behind you on it, but I'd have to watch it (no, sorry, don't as it clashes with something we both enjoy watching). got a bit monotonous, but the series running at the moment seems like it might be worth watching sometimes (then again, it might be the same each week for all I know).
  10. MichelleTTR

    Totally bummed

    Nothing to say really, but hang in there. You sound strong even if you don't feel it. You're strong enough to get through this (with help), so definitely hang in there. Talk about it (to us, to therapists, to anyone you can), don't bottle it up. I can understand hubby not wanting to go back to what he's been doing, but maybe he could in the interim to help you sort your stuff out (take some pressure off you). Does he do paintings, or what sort of art? Has he tried ebay? Big hugs from here from someone who had nothign to say (and manages to probably put foot in mouth) - I'm gathering Macy's pay is not much Michelle
  11. MichelleTTR

    Surprised hubby with a new bike...

    I just don't know how you gals do it. I tried one year, but then ended up asking him exactly what he wanted - it was going to be imported with his name on it so they wanted to know what wheels, tank, flywheel weights etc that he was after. I thought I better get it right and let him take over. Now I just give him the okay to buy a bike. Way cool pressie and he's definitely thrilled with it. I thought the moon was bright the other week, but obviously that was when you gave him the bike (different days/times here). Not sure if it's the same as earlier models, but make sure you carry a fuse as it can ruin your/his day. will ask tomorrow about what fuse & where it goes, as I know a friend had a berg for a few weeks and his weekend ride would've been ruined without someone else having that fuse. (might be the starter, but it was years ago, so a lot vague on the whole scenario). That's one bike that the friend would love to have been able to keep (writes/wrote for local bike mags, so tried a lot).
  12. MichelleTTR

    advice on how to get female into motocross sport.

    I absolutely hate bikes & everything about them (umm, the cat showed me this post, honest). I only ride to save the marriage and work in the industry as it's the only job I could find. When the guys tried pressuring me to learn to ride in my 30's, the door was slammed in their faces (husband and friend). I wasn't interested and totally intimidated. What got me interested was I love animals and to hear them talking about the deer in the forest (I'd never seen any at that stage) was my turning point. My husband gave me a five second lesson on a road bike and there was totally no interest there. Not sure of the timeline, but was all around the same time. I then found me a "dirtbike" for money I could afford to throw away if I hated it ($50NZ, so around the $20/30 your money), but it needed work (clutch cable or throttle cable, can't remember and lots more, but that was the main thing to get it going). I rode it for long enough (few months) to figure out maybe this could be fun. The day I bought my new (to me) bike, I went riding and had a lot more fun. So much so, we went riding the next day and I met my first female riding buddy (I'd never seen another female riding). We'd then all go riding most weekends and the rest is history. I don't see her anymore (lost contact that same year), but have made a couple of fantastic friends along the way (as well as others that I just don't have that much to do with). I guess the reason that I've got two best friends now is we all ride, and ride both road & dirt (I did get both of them into the road thing). One doesn't ride any more, but I hope she'll get back into it - we are planning an overseas trip in the future on bikes. It really is finding the right catalyst, but that only works if there's something there. The guy who helped me get into riding has a wife with zero interest in bikes and hates it when the four of us get together as inevitably we talk bikes (we try not to, but invariably drift there). I often wonder where I'd be without the bikes now, but couldn't go back. Get tempted (severely) to leave the bike industry, but my job suits me for the most part (except I want/need everything done NOW, not at some vague distant point of time, which seems too common a theme for my liking). Good luck with your quest, fill us in when you get time, but don't force it (I'm still hoping Mandy will get there, but if not, we've got her daughter to work on so who knows what the future holds).
  13. MichelleTTR

    So, family stuff:

    Without reading the whole thread, here's my take. My parents adopted me at 10 days. They're my parents. I had contact with my birth mother in my 20's, but lost contact in my early 30's. A lot of that was my choice, as I couldn't be bothered, I'd lost interest and these days don't even see my family often (just too busy). I sometimes wonder if she's still alive, but not enough to find out. My birth father I have never met. I saw him on TV a number of years ago (pall-bearer for his brother) but have no desire to contact him. His parents, however, I would've loved to have at least met, as they had no say in what happened when I was born. I think I've tracked them down, and that they're both alive, but am not sure I should even go there. They had a tough time as 4 of the family were shot down in cold blood, but I also don't want to open a can of worms. They live about 2 hour flight (plus drive I guess), and I'm really not convinced about it all. I owe my birth family nothing, nor do they owe me anything. Your sperm donor isn't your dad and never will be. He chose not to be. Mine had no say in the matter in some ways, but he also (by his actions) chose not to be my dad. Best wishes to you and do what you feel right, not what someone has decided to tell you is right.
  14. MichelleTTR

    Did your ex think you would stop riding?

    I'd say my ex would be shocked to hear I was riding. I was anti bikes with him (came off a few too many times for my liking and refused to go pillion after a while). I started riding scooters when I was with him, but that was an economic thing. When my husband gave up work to become a student, I think it was the 2nd year when he told me he needed a new bike. he'd also kept telling me he wanted a dirt bike, but you can imagine how that went down. Near the end of his edumication, he went dirt riding with a friend and now NEEDED a dirt bike. As he was just about finished, we went out & bought a cheapie. What I never realised was that I'd totally get into it as well. I really never thought I'd go the road route, and that I'd manage to con dirt friends into going that route as well. I see my ex's brother from time to time and he somehow didn't seem shocked to hear I was riding real bikes. Then again, it took a long time for him to work out we'd split (it's not like he wasn't living with us, so should've realised sooner than he did lol). I don't ride for any reason than I enjoy it, if I don't want to ride for some reason, I don't but if my husband doesn't feel like riding and I do, I still go. He sometimes takes my friends riding which doesn't bother me, I just don't like riding with him (dirt, road is fine and we often go out together).
  15. MichelleTTR

    What is wrong with me =)

    What's wrong with you? It's obvious. You got too many shoes. I've got 1 pair road riding boots, 1 pair road riding shoes (yes, proper shoes for on the bike), 1 pair sneakers, 1 pair old road riding boots I use as gumboots, 2 pair dirt boots (one's only really good for trials as not much support left in them and new ones are too stiff for trials). Oh, I also have a pair of tramping boots, but find the sneakers more comfortable. If I have to go out, fancy-like, I'd be screwed anyways. I'm okay to wear my riding boots or shoes at work, so it's all good. Hmm, sounds like I've got too many shoes hahaha